An affable loner, Dalton, arrives in a frontier town looking for a job as a cowboy singer. That night, he accidentally kills a notorious outlaw. Impressed, the marshal sends him off to the badlands to kill more outlaws. While wandering the frontier, Dalton meets Acondo, an Indian who happens to be very sensitive about racial and gender stereotyping. Dalton and Acondo soon join up with McConaughhorse, a laid-back Texas stallion with an eye for the fillies and a lust for gun action. The three become fast friends. A few more accidental outlaw killings follow and the news spreads like wildfire across the Old West. Upon reaching Toonstone, Dalton gets drunk and wakes up as the town's new sheriff. Only problem-- he can't shoot a gun. But before he can throw down his badge, a vicious outlaw gang comes to town, bent on revenge. Dalton convinces the outlaw leader to channel his rage into music and briefly avoids bloodshed -- his own. Knowing his luck can't last, Dalton enlists an old gunslinger named Slim to teach him the tricks of the trade. After a series of comically inept duels with lesser bandits, Dalton faces off against the most lethal outlaw in the land, Two-Eyed Jack. Dalton and McConaughorse are both gunned down. Word reaches Toonstone that Dalton is dead and the townsfolk grieve for a moment over their lost sheriff. Meanwhile, Dalton wakes up buried to the neck in the desert, surrounded by the skulls of Two-Eyed Jack's many other victims. Having learned Indian mysticism from Acondo, Dalton asks The Land to rescue him. A sarcastic rock replies that Dalton is stuck between himself and a hard place. Little does Dalton know that The Land has heard his pleas and has guided Acondo to his rescue. Acondo, Dalton, and a miraculously-healed McConaughorse return to Toonstone just in time to save the townspeople from the twin threats of Two-Eyed Jack and a spaceship full of alien invaders who bear an uncomfortable resemblance to Mexican mariachis.